In this post, I have chosen not to name a particular show to which I allude because my thoughts pertain to a very brief moment in the production. While you may be able to identify it, I am not writing theatrical criticism and don’t want my response to perhaps 30 seconds of stage time to be misconstrued as applicable to the entire evening.

I am not often moved to anger at the theatre. I may be disappointed in a show, annoyed by a directorial concept, discomfited by a noisy patron or shallow legroom, but I don’t usually get so irate that I am mentally jolted out of the production at hand and need time to settle myself down. But it happened last week.

While the production had updated a classic musical with many assorted contemporary references, what had me seeing red were fleeting one-liners at the expense of three recent Republican presidential candidates, including Rick Santorum. Was I upset because I support that individual or his competitors? No. Haven’t I laughed at jokes about them in other circumstances? Yes. So why was I deeply incensed? I was upset by the context of the comments, namely in the midst of a family-friendly musical. I think they were probably insulting and upsetting to some in the audience. And I’d like those people to keep going to theatre, even if I don’t share their entire worldview.

I read a great deal online about various theatrical issues, audience development being one and political theatre being another, and I am personally supportive of both. I think political drama and comedy can indeed have an effect beyond theatre’s four walls. Whether it’s as explicitly political as David Hare’s Stuff Happens, as subtle (save for the title) as Richard Nelson’s That Hopey-Changey Thing, or as socially aware as Mike Daisey’s The Agony and The Ecstasy of Steve Jobs, I think the theatre is a great forum for political topics (funny how my three examples are all from New York’s Public Theater). As for audience development, I think every theatre professional must (if they are not already) be constantly thinking about the needs and interests of audiences both current and future, as our art form must gain support from both ticket buyers and donors alike, not just for today, but ad infinitum.

So why did a couple of jokes that would go unremarked if heard on The Daily Show or Saturday Night Live get me riled? Precisely because I wasn’t watching those shows and neither was anyone else in the audience. I was happily watching a show which had absolutely nothing to do with the current political or social situation in America when these random gag lines flew out from the stage, displaying utter contempt for anyone in the audience who might actually support those individuals.

This is hardly an isolated incident, as I’ve been at events where a speaker suddenly inserts this type of joke to get a laugh; I’ve seen it woven into the scripts of awards shows or deployed by recipients of those awards. Frankly, it gets me pissed off every time. I’m barraged by it on Twitter and Facebook from people I follow or friend because of their theatrical interests, rather than their politics, but there it is more akin to a comment between acquaintances, and I can always opt out of my online relationship if someone becomes overbearing.

But why do theatre people, who strive to sell tickets and build audiences, participate in these drive-by insults of some portion of their audiences? Surely they must realize that, especially when dealing with a few hundred or more people at once, not everyone follows the same political bent, no more than they should assume everyone is from the same culture or the same religion (unless they have explicitly targeted a narrowly defined audience). They’re not going to suddenly trigger an epiphany, and if the goal is to appeal to audiences, why show disdain for those who might think differently on some topics?

Theatre affords those who work in it the opportunity to weave stories that communicate emotions, ideas, concerns with artistry and skill. By tossing out topical political jokes shorn of context, we play at being witty or current but only succeed in reinforcing the stereotypes that some would throw at us: lefty, radical, socialist, elitist, godless – what have you. In those moments, we achieve nothing but a fleeting laugh and the affection of the like-minded — and perhaps the eternal enmity of some of those we otherwise claim to court.

If we believe that among the dramatic forms, theatre is the most immediate and complex; if we believe that theatre must remain vital while the electronic media continues to encroach upon our territory and our audiences – then we mustn’t sacrifice our greater interests for an easy guffaw. If we wish, we can (and should) create works which rail against the status quo or those who would seek to diminish some in our society, we can make bold (or careful) and emotional appeals on those topics which we believe to be important. But when we stoop to irrelevant one-liners we play the very game of distortion and insult that I hope we all deplore in the political arena itself, a game which is reportedly turning off the populace in droves. We are better than that and, if we’re creative enough about it, if we use the narrative and rhetorical skills that we have in abundance, perhaps we can in fact change a few minds – all the while insuring that our audiences remain willing to go to the theatre many more times.

I contemplated titling this piece “On The Objectification of Theatre Artists,” but decided against it for two primary reasons. First, because it is not my graduate thesis, and second, because people might choose to approach it more seriously than it perhaps deserves.  I will say that I do not fundamentally support the idolization of men or women for their physical appearance, however as one who works in entertainment (with a particular background in marketing and public relations), I know that for all of the enlightenment our society has achieved over the years, we are still drawn in by attractiveness — it is both celebrated and idealized throughout the media. Lecture over.

Among the deluge of tweets, updates and posts I see every day, I have been amused, and at times startled, by the comments of two young women who communicate under the unified nom de plume of The Craptacular. They are avid theatergoers, but they express their enthusiasm most emphatically when they see what I can only refer to as “a hot guy”; they deploy much more colorful expressions, I assure you. I find their slang rhapsodizing over a variety of stage heartthrobs distinctive because, for the most part, what I see otherwise are die-hard fans debating the artistic skills of various performers, say comparing and contrasting various divas (including some long dead), rather than ever speaking of earthier appeals.  Save for the ad campaign for Chicago, which has long celebrated the forms and figures of the countless performers who have done that show, I rarely see Broadway, or any theatrical production, for that matter, relying on something that we have been told, ever since the Mad Men era, is a surefire marketing tool: sex.

This certainly contrasts with the movies, which in so many cases are all about appearance. For decades, people have become screen stars based first and foremost on their physical attributes. In film and television, the emphasis on attractiveness can be a curse (I should be so stricken): actors like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Michelle Pfeiffer and Angelina Jolie and many others have had to work extra-hard to prove that they are more than just pretty faces and bodies. But in the theatre, talent almost without fail comes first; attractiveness is sometimes the bonus. I generalize, of course, but you get the idea.

That’s why I think the women at The Craptacular are on to something (I so want to call them gals, but I’m walking on eggshells here). Maybe theatre shouldn’t be afraid of flaunting it now and again, especially if we genuinely seek to be part of the mainstream of entertainment and not relegated to the backwater known as “the arts.” The fact is, whether you are male or female, gay or straight, theatre is not just a feast for your mind and your ears, but for your eyes as well. In theatre, talent can make the unconventional unexpectedly attractive, just as it endows more conventional beauty with more depth than your average movie ingénue.

There have been a few occasions when theatre folks, usually because of their work in other mediums, have drifted into the range of media that emphasize physical appeal. I recall Kristin Chenoweth’s FHM appearance and Laura Benanti’s Playboy showcase in particular, because a) I know both women and b) I never believed I’d ever know women who appeared on the covers of those sorts of magazines.  I suspect theatre-centric actors have similarly graced female-oriented publications, but my gaze tends not to linger on that part of the newsstand; I leave it to you to recall examples that support me. Kristin and Laura may not have been chosen for these platforms primarily because of their remarkable skills as performers, but once they are put upon a pedestal, they reflect the spotlight back on the stage.

Jerry Mitchell tapped into the sex and Broadway link years ago when he created “Broadway Bares” for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS; he took an underused asset – the sexiness of so many performers – and put it to great use, raising money for an essential cause. It has become a tradition within the community; it’s frankly a shame that the annual extravaganza can’t last for more than a handful of shows and reach more of the general public, harking back to The Ziegfeld Follies, yet conceived for the age of Maxim. Certainly if Ben Brantley is to be believed, the runaway success of Hugh Jackman’s recent Broadway stand had less to do with the guy’s overwhelming talent and charm and more with his status as a figure in countless sexual fantasies.

I’m not proposing that theatre aspire to burlesque (even as that particular form of entertainment makes a comeback). All I’m suggesting is that in our relentless effort to court those attuned to higher aspirations of art and talent, we may be burying a valuable asset that was once unashamedly part of theatre’s fabric. Theatre is where the devil’s assistant Lola gets what she wants through “feminine wiles”, where Adelaide endlessly fronts a girlie show until she can settle down into domestic bliss, where Gypsy emerges from the chrysalis of Louise Hovick – and where the women who play those roles become stars. As I ponder this, I regret that the male characters who are physical ideals are all comic figures, villains or both: Miles Gloriosus, Gaston, even Kodaly. What’s up with that? Maybe some form of envy by their creators?

Sex sells, sexiness sells, beauty sells and theatre’s got all of that. Just as Las Vegas learned a lesson when it tried to rebrand itself as a family friendly destination, maybe theatre, and Broadway in particular, needs a makeover, needs to rough up its image, needs more leather and lace — just like Sandy at the end of the movie Grease.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 22 at 4 PM

“What’s the BEST that Broadway can be twenty years from now?”

That’s the overarching theme of the “TEDx Broadway” conference, taking place on Monday, January 23. Since I’m curious about what might be happening on Broadway when I’m approaching retirement, I’m planning to spend the day listening to the 15 presentations currently scheduled.

Given my range of theatrical interest, I do muse on why this isn’t “TEDx Theatre,” since Broadway represents only 40 venues in a single city (although it feeds a wider network of presenting houses around the country), but I do recognize its economic scale and almost mythic stature. As I am not a journalist, I will confess up front that do not approach the event unbiased; my responses to what I hear will be informed by my own 29-year career in the American theatre.

I will be live blogging through the day (my first such effort) in an attempt to bring some of the thinking presented at the event to those who can’t attend, in something approximating real time. Those who know my online activity may ask why I am not live-tweeting, and the answer is simple: I genuinely hope that the content of TEDx Broadway is sufficiently provocative and detailed that it cannot be reduced to 140 character missives; I want to be able to do it justice.  So bookmark this page and take a look as the day progresses on January 23.  I’ll watch for your comments both on this blog and, when possible, on my Twitter feed at @hesherman; I don’t know whether there will be any Q&A opportunities that would allow be to be your conduit back to the sessions.

Here’s the schedule of speakers, as provided by the TEDx folks:

Session One: Turning from Past and Present Toward the Future

• Ken Davenport, Broadway producer (Oleanna, Speed-the-Plow, Blithe Spirit)
• Jordan Roth, President of Jujamcyn Theaters
• Randy Weiner, Producer (Sleep No More, Purgatorio, Beacher’s Madhouse)
• Patricia Martin, Author, cultural communications guru and CEO of LitLamp Communications
• Performance by Joe Iconis, Musical theater writer and concert performer

Session Two: Picture If You Will…

• Performance by Matt Sax, Actor, writer and acclaimed composer (Clay, Venice)
• Kara Larson, Arts marketing consultant
• Frank Eliason, Digital customer service trailblazer
• Steve Gullans, Author, scientist, and entrepreneur
• Damian Bazadona, Founder of  Situation Interactive

Session Three: Over the Horizon

• Vincent Gassetto, Principal of NY’s M.S. 343
• Juan Enriquez, Economist and bestselling author
• Barry Kahn, Economist and dynamic pricing expert
• Gregory Mosher, Tony Award-winning director and former Lincoln Center Theater artistic director
• Joseph Craig, Entertainment marketing expert

If you’d like to read bios of these presenters, click here and scroll past the marketing materials at the top to get to summaries of their backgrounds.

I’ve been seeing Broadway theatre since the mid-70s and had a ringside seat to Broadway via the American Theatre Wing from 2003 to 2011. I look forward to hearing about what may be yet to come.

MONDAY JANUARY 23 10:10 AM

There is immediate irony surrounding today’s TEDx Broadway, in that it is being held in an Off-Broadway theatre, specifically the New World Stages complex on 50th Street in Manhattan, a veritable urban mall of theatre. Though I haven’t inquired, the reason seems apparent: the costs of using a Broadway house for such an event, even when donated by the theatre’s owner, can be prohibitive due to house labor costs, tech staff and house staff chief among them. Assuming that at minimum, sound, lighting and projections will be put to use over the course of the day, tech expenses on Broadway might run up quickly — and no doubt that’s an issue that will come up at some point today in discussion of what Broadway might look like 20 years hence. But behind the irony of today’s locale, there’s also encouragement: New World Stages was built as a subterranean movie multiplex, and was converted to live theatres after its failure as a film venue. It’s rare, but fun, when theatre trumps film.

Last night, I solicited via Twitter any advance thoughts people had about today, hopes or concerns. I certainly saw multiple tweets of excited anticipation for the event, noting one respondent with particular enthusiasm for organizer Ken Davenport and speaker Frank Eliason.  I have also seen tweets from several smaller not-for-profit companies, mostly New York-based; do they have Broadway dreams?

However, a number of tweets raised deeper questions. Why so male dominated (only 2 of the 15 announced participants are women), why so few artists (only 3, two slated as performances, not speakers), one speaker of color (Latino), why no (evident) speakers under the age of 35? Also, why so expensive ($100, limiting who can participate) and why during a workday (when younger professionals, if they can afford it in the first place, would need to take a day off to attend)? If this is about a vision of the future, can we vision a more egalitarian Broadway so that process enfranchises those who should, but largely do not, have stakes in Broadway? Indeed of the 13 speakers, only four appear to have direct connections to Broadway; the rest are experts in marketing, social media and customer service in other fields. So perhaps this is going to be more about how Broadway, whatever the product may be, will be connecting with its audience in 20 years, rather than what the work itself may be. But that remains to be seen.

A final note before I head one to New World Stages. I do not know whether it is by accident or design, but today’s event is scheduled opposite the annual Broadway Across America conference in Florida, where that major player both as producer on Broadway and producer/presenter in major venues across the country invites other major players for booth social and professional activities. This event immediately draws some major figures away from the TedXBroadway conference, leading me to wonder whether the intent of today is to “Occupy Broadway” and play to the less connected? However, if there is to be change on Broadway that we can measure 20 years from now, it would be highly unfortunate if today’s discussions go unheard by many of the people who would have to agree to take the first steps in that evolution if it’s to begin anytime soon.

MONDAY JANUARY 23 11:50 AM

Producer and event organizer Ken Davenport begins session by showing photos of 42nd Street in 1992 and today, as well as his acting head shot from that era; he mentions 1992  Tony winners Crazy for You, Guys and Dolls, and Dancing at Lughnasa. Ken remembers his dissatisfaction  at buying tickets in those days without being told seats locations. A $50 ticket for a play was news; $65 was the musical price. Only two non-profit-theatres had Broadway houses; “Now there are five and counting.”  Asks audience to indicate how many had cell phones, computers and Internet. Notes that Disney’s contract for the New Amsterdam was signed in 1993 and that in 1995 Sunset Boulevard won best musical score  by default. 1996, “the Rent era” begins. Notes the 50% drop in NASDAQ value since 2000. Notes the abandoning of the West Side Stadium project. Notes Memphis being the first show to record and broadcast its production while still running on Broadway. Davenport says Times Square is better: crime down, tourism up. On Broadway: 905 playing weeks in 1992 and 1588 now.

Davenport says that TEDx Broadway is about looking ahead and imagining what Broadway could be. What if in 2013 Playbill goes green and all programs are delivered electronically? In 2016, what if all shows were recorded and sold like cast albums? What if in 2018 Phantom of the Opera closes? What if in 2022 there’s a Times Square roller coaster? What if in 2026 the only vacant theaters are renovated and reopened by a Chinese company? What if in 2028, $75 million for a show is cheap and we elect a female president?

How will our shows be created and marketed in 2032? Event organizers agreed they had no idea, and invited speakers to help try to answer that question.  And if you’re in the house today, you’re going to help create that future.

12:05 PM

Jim McCarthy of Goldstar, one of the event’s organizers,  asks if anyone has been to a TEDx event before; few hands go up. He explains that it’s all about big thinking and the people sitting next to you are as important as the people on stage.  Audience is asked to fill out cards with their 60 second vision of Broadway in 2032; some will be invited on stage later in the day.

12:10 PM

Neil Patrick Harris video. He want to see references to Great White Way done away with; what about “The Great Culturally Inclusive Way?” Suggests that the best of Broadway in 2032 would star Hugh Jackman.

12:12 PM

Jujamcyn Theaters president Jordan Roth begins by parsing what “original” means. In regards to musicals, it means original script and score. Speaks of disdain for musicals from other sources; cites Oklahoma! adapted from Green Grow the Lilacs and 42nd Street drawn from 42nd Street. Emphasis speaks only to what, not how. Nobody sets out to create something that isn’t remarkable. Notes that American Idiot, Fela! and Lion King were all shows that did not have original scores, but quickly notes that writers of original scorns and books are essential. But when we limit our definition of original, we limit possibilities. Originality must come from creative innovation and answering the question of why is this live? As screens proliferate, live becomes more valuable, more differentiated, more unique. Not just a description of what is presented but how. Live must be built into events essence, something you can only experience in a room with a community of others. Artists must make the creative cases of why you have to come particular room at particular place with group of strangers to see. Talks about the uniquely different experiences of War Horse on stage and on screen, each told as only those mediums can do. If we aren’t unique and live, we will become cultural derivatives; “We must do what no other medium can do: be live. And that’s original.”

12:20 PM

Neil Patrick Harris video: how important is originality? “It’s super-duper crazy important” and that’s where Broadway has gone “off the ship.” Mentions various absurd new shows, like Modern Family: The Musical at Second Stage. If critics wouldn’t slam shows initially, there could be great musicals in the next 20 years.

12:22 PM

Producer Randy Weiner says he’s never done Broadway, but will speak about The Donkey Show, The Box and Sleep No More; his perspective is informed by these experiences. He talk about how difficult it was to describe Donkey Show: what is a club, was it a musical, was it Shakespeare? He says that original ideas can come from absolute squalor, describing original venue of The Donkey Show. Two cast members are in the audience, shouting out occasional remarks as he speaks; one a chorus girl, topless save for butterfly pasties (Titania), the other seemingly dressed as a crass stereotypical producer in an ugly fur (Oberon). He talks about the great people working in a difficult environment: Jordan Roth, Diane Paulus, designer Scott Pask and how the show took on a life of its own; he says that others took the idea and used in other ways, citing Ken Davenport’s Awesome 80s Prom. Weiner talks about the experience of the show beginning even with the line outside the venue, fully engaging you in the experience. The show had no seats and early audiences were shocked; they’d sit on the floor. The 360 degree approach 12 years ago was different, “and different is my favorite word and what I strive for in all of my shows.” Marketing integrated into the show; VIP greeter just like nightclub would recognize return visitors and even invite them back for free. Built upon people’s desire to be among the first and tell their friends about it. He said that Donkey Show’s real success came through specific, unexpected social interaction: bachelorette parties. “Sometimes you create something and it’s how does it interact with the world? And you get surprising answers.” Weiner talks about people’s social fabric connection to Broadway, but that needs to be even better integrated into shows. Notes the “real estate play” of Donkey Show, since there are clubs with great lights and great sound that are empty until 11 pm; he speaks about how Broadway is largely unused except from 8 to 11 pm (opposite of Donkey) and wonders about how they could be used although, “I have no idea of how Broadway works.” “Why can’t Broadway come up with other economic models?”

Moves on to discussing The Box, because he saw how much the club owners were making at the bar on The Donkey Show. He framed  The Box with outrageous acts, but framed it “high,” as you could see same acts downtown for $10. Suggests Broadway needing to be positioned as more elite for limited audiences; shorter runs, not just for star shows. Make it narrower but still make it financially successful.

When raising money for Sleep No More, he positioned it as a smarter investment than Broadway because no one was doing anything like it. His marketing budget was zero “because the show was going to be so extraordinary that’s how we’d get people to come…The show is the marketing.” Says that not every show can do that, but maybe there’s something to be learned. Instead of Broadway spending all this money on marketing, they should just put it all into a better, larger show.

12:42 PM

Patricia Martin begins her talk titled, “Will the future ‘like’ you?” She talks about lying on the floor of the Vatican and wondering how that level of creativity happens. Her book prompted by that experience has thesis that we are poised on the edge of another Renaissance, despite difficult economic times. Cites mentor’s research: the same thing that creates a renaissance can also send us into the dark ages. As a result of hyper-progress, as what’s irrelevant is shed, making space for the new. Indicators of of a renaissance: 1) death comes first, 2 ) facilitating medium (in Rome, road; today, the internet), and 3) age of enlightenment (messy concept she often avoids; has everything to do with future of creative work and how we appeal to young audience). Talks about the dwindling of subscriber base at Steppenwolf Theater and charge to find global brands that were doing best work reaching young audiences; they all did one thing well, knowingly or not – they could speak at a higher frequency.

Recipe to higher frequency: in young audiences’ upbringing, they experience truth by believing what they can feel, being heard above the din. Young audiences yearn for higher purpose through human connection; we are more and more becoming wired to be social and feel human connection. She studied science of consciousness: witness, empathize, imagine and then act; but there’s a caveat – it’s most powerful when it happens live. Speaks of difficulty in changing culture because you must walk against the tide of prevailing culture.

So when do we get to renaissance? Currently deep in winter of discontent and have facilitating medium of Internet – so why are we still stuck? Because we don’t have a compelling story of the future. We’re waiting – what’s next? Martin cites Jung: “The creation of something truly new is not accomplished by the intellect, but by the play instinct, acting out of necessity.” So will to future like us? A conditional yes. “We need stories about the human condition that are told with love, because that is what helps people feel compassion towards each other and through compassion comes enlightenment.”

1:01 PM

Neil Patrick Harris video: What makes Broadway so great is that you can have Spider-Man and a play with Alan Rickman all in 20 blocks. But we need to figure out how to produce more economically. I don’t like shows where people just sit around and talk. Give me City of Angels, give me magic shows on stage.

Composer Joe Iconis take stage to perform. Impossible to live-blog a song. Taking a break.

2:30 PM

Head of social media at CitiBank, Frank Eliason, up next. Where has service gone?, he asks. If continue on the path we’re on, Broadway will not exist, but let’s put that aside. He starts giving examples of frustration at customer service, and says it gets to core of what’s wrong with theatre today. He talks about companies adding technology, outsourcing, ongoing process. Says that people have lost human connection in business; cites Seth Godin book Linchpin, saying we’re still in the industrial age. 20 to 30 years ago we weren’t part of a process, not part of a process, allowing to make decisions. Today it’s a metric era; everything is numbers, even theatre. As long as we think like big business, we have a problem.

Internet is changing the world; giving consumers a voice against big business. People only talk about you if you create a good experience. Why do we think stars are a draw? Because marketers tell us so. Now we can just get opinions on Twitter or Facebook. Now it is the renaissance, about the artistic experience. We’ve been missing human connection, and Broadway will not exist unless we change — must be about human connection.

What is the experience of being part of a good show? Standing in line like commuting. That’s not what theatre used to be like. Used to be special, and not like it now. Says we no longer feel a connection to people on stage; big money shows are mostly special effects, but we can get that on TV or in movies. Broadway is missing it because the best shows won’t attract masses.  Broadway numbers look great, so “we’ll keep delivering the same damn thing,” just like, say AOL. Need to evolve while still on top.

Competing with videos, with “way too much content.” Yes, there’s human connection, but it’s not different enough from other sources. What has happened on Broadway over 10 years? Up and up and up. Without changes, consumers will say they’ve had enough.

Now that audiences can connect directly with artists, marketing budgets will be reduced. You will see audiences encouraged to keep their phones on and communicate about theatre — and artists getting to know their audiences in unique way. Unnamed people will become stars, because new communication can make that happen. Talks about taking his children to Mary Poppins. Rushed in, rushed out, employees everywhere who didn’t care; interactions with people inside the theatre wasn’t a great experience. The kids loved the show, but Frank said it felt like going to a movie theatre. He says it’s the consumer’s own fault for saying it’s acceptable and that the next 20 years will be consumers fighting back. The future? He thinks artistic houses outside Broadway will be more successful than Broadway unless there’s real change.

2:50 PM

Kara Larson says that we are always predicting the future – but we’re terrible at it. Our dream of the experience at Disney world is delightful; we don’t anticipate heat, crowds, crying children. [HESherman note: why the Disney bashing today?] So if we’re terrible at making predictions, what can we do. Predictions in science and business are based in facts, but always leave out variable; sometimes too complex, sometimes we don’t know what the variable is. We have blind spots; situational bias; she cities a military commander in 1911 thinking airplanes would be of no value militarily, Margaret Thatcher saying no woman would be prime minister of England in her lifetime. Larson says it is nearly impossible for us to predict a future completely different from our own; we are trapped in its own history.

What of Broadway? Physical place, dream factory. In 20 years, predicting only that Broadway is a street and there will be theaters that people attend. Suggests we shouldn’t predict, but adapt (per Danish physicist). Accept change as it happens, accept it as it arrives. Or, create change — make it happen. Best way to predict the future is to create it, and let others adapt to you.

3:00 PM

Next presentation is by Steve Gullans. Speaks about the wisdom of crowds; opinion of 100 people is better than opinion of one, even an expert. But when we ask opinions, we have to consider whether we have the right crowd; you need the right opinion, the right audience, and how do you find them? He reviews networks in social networks – Facebook, Twitter, etc. [I have opted not to summarize this; it’s all theories about networks, social contagions, etc.; not uninteresting, but not new and feels textbook.]

Broadway could use social media better. How do you find the right networks? How do most people get connected to Broadway for information — connections are too distant. We’re not far from “smart networks,” people like you with same interests and issues, and they will be virtual, with key influencers at the center. Privacy is an issue and will be solved. We already have networks of friends, but not enough about themes; a matter of time before two cultures merge and smart networks will grow using emerging new technology. In the future, we will see what’s in the laboratory today in the real world: voice analysis, brain waves, smart fabrics, facial analysis; we will move from active input (typing) to passive input. A portion of audiences will have passive inputs uploading information to the cloud to be analyzed in a way that informs and improves what’s out there, including Broadway.

3:20 PM

Event organizer Damian Bazadona of Situation Interactive wants us to think of Broadway as an idea factory that opens hearts and minds. To be the best in 2032 is to fill our idea factory with the greatest talent over other idea factories — innovators. Technologies will open talent pipeline: 1) means to fuel our creativity, 2) access to join collaboration and 3) perspective to support our purpose; a perfect storm for talent. How will we win? By expanding the exposure of Broadway. Why so optimistic? Innovators will want financial opportunities for growth; drama and theatre arts among professions with lowest earning potential. Must increase exposure of Broadway to expand financial opportunities for innovators. Bazadona says our talent can’t be limited solely to theatres, and believes it is starting to happen; the more distribution, the more financial opportunities, the more people will choose to work on Broadway. How do you draw talent to field with limited supply and playing at 80% capacity? Only by expanding distribution channels. There must be growth potential for innovators to impact change. Innovators will want to believe in our greater purpose. Currents auds are 83% white with average household income of $250,000 — that’s not where innovators will come from. He notes that people’s willingness to pay ever higher prices shows commitment, but it’s an impediment to getting potential innovators to see the work. There is no financial model for new audience development on Broadway in a marketplace driven by supply. By growing business, we will alleviate reliance on ticket revenue and create new ways for people to touch Broadway.

In 2032: incredible original productions, full theaters with more diverse audiences, less risk from external factors (“screw those external factors” like press attention and arts education), healthy progressive investment, expanded potential for new works and a wider platform to share our greater purpose. “I think we can win the talent war.”

3:40 PM

Due to technical problems, I have lost my contemporaneous summary of the talk by Barry Kahn. From memory, his theme was one of greater cooperation, rather than competition for ticket sales. While I have not been editorializing to date, I will say that his theme was solid, but did not seem fully cognizant of the current means of Broadway sales, in particular his repeated references to box office sales at a time when most Broadway sales occur over the internet, or the various cooperative efforts made by The Broadway League or Serino Coyne’s “Season of Savings” promotions. He spoke about how fragmentation has led to the creation of new sales channels like Groupon, StubHub and ticket brokers and said that these channels should be combined with regular sales means for a better audience experience.

4:10 PM

South Bronx public school principal Vincent Gassetto is next up, following a video about students from his school attending Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. He believes that schools partnering with Broadway has infinite possibilities. He needs to expose students to as many things as possible to hope they make a connection or find an interest that may propel them to a positive future, creative a drive or desire for something different. Planning Broadway trips are a logistical nightmare. But impact is immeasurable: students want to be in show, create sets, play  music — discussing their future. Attending the theatre also showed students positive social interaction. So how can schools contribute to making Broadway the best it can be in 20 years? Schools offer 1.1 million students, an opportunity to reach into population of young, talented and driven people who are nearby, and that can have an impact on the industry by creating new artists and audiences. If changes are not made, students will grow up without interest in industries like Broadway and arts education is not coming back anytime, so principals want to partner with industries to create arts education.

4:20 PM

Juan Enriquez is the next speaker. Wonders why are there so few medical and science plays on Broadway? What evidence is there that anyone would be interested? All of the television programs about science and medicine (Grey’s Anatomy, ER, M*A*S*H, etc). So how to we get back to what theatre did best? Addressing fatal flaws in heroes. Stories about the gods. At Harvard Medical School, students are reading Sophocles, in order to prompt students to address their studies with heart, not just science. Should theatre remind work about Sophocles? Because art is long, but life is short. Maybe we want to revisit this on  Broadway in the next 20 years. What else can we threaten people with beyond death? Immortality. This is a theme we’re constantly considering in life, but not seeing in our stories. How are we immortal? Facebook as an electronic tattoo, a global tattoo that will likely last longer than the body. Does Google equal immortality? We are moving to the side of the Greek immortal gods, instead of the flawed hero. Are we voyeurs or narcissists? We no longer need to be an architect to become immortal in the age of Google. From immortality, we are moving to pre-reincarnation, e.g. cloning. So perhaps theatre can explore these themes. [HE Sherman comment: Enriquez continues to present medical progress, with the purpose of provoking thought among creative artists. yet I wonder how many creative artists are here today to take up this information. And progress in life and science are certainly fodder for theatrical work, but isn’t all of life, not just the science of life itself?] What happens if we don’t just preserve the species, but fundamentally change what it is to be human?

4:45 PM

Entertainment market researcher Joseph Craig is next. He suggests that Broadway doesn’t think about or talk to their audiences on a regular basis.  He reviews audience demographics of Broadway and says that we are not replenishing audiences, and in 20 years they’ll be going to theaters not suited for their physical needs and limitations. Talks about how men don’t talk about shows they see. Cites annual audience of 12 million visitors to Broadway must grow; 80% capacity is not enough. Audiences 83% white, but that’s the race with slowest growth rate over 20 years. Are we going to be inclusive or exclusive? We have to get “See a show” into the lexicon of every visitor to New York; need collaboration to get people to Broadway in general. For future, Broadway must address aging audience whose income grows more limited as prices rise, the proliferation of distractions vying for entertainment dollars, the move of the “instant gratification” generation into our market and Broadway does not make it easy for them to participate, and how do we look beyond tourism growth and grow domestic audiences. Cites example of Las Vegas losing its appeal and need to rebuild and rebrand in late 80s and early 90s; Las Vegas had become a joke. So when was the last time that kids thought going to a Broadway show was hip? Cites Disney as being smart and bringing whole new generation into to the theatre [finally, someone who praises Disney]. Vegas experience shows Broadway the dangers of being complacent. “There’s a lot of cat fighting between shows on Broadway. We need to put that pettiness aside and think about what’s best for Broadway.”

5:00 PM

Gregory Mosher opens by saying we’ve reached the point in the event where everything has been said, but not everyone has said it. His talk: “Don’t Be The Turkey,” based on story about turkey who is so happy about growing bigger and bigger…until mid-November rolls around. Keeping the avian imagery, he talks about inductive reasoning — if we only see  white swans, we conclude all swans are white but they aren’t. As we move ahead to 2032 we must build on facts, not assumptions, even though we’re in the hope business. So we have to define our business. We’re in the theatre business — but tell that to The New York Times or Kodak, whose business has changed so radically. Customer satisfaction can actually hold us back, especially when faced with disruptive technology (i.e. electric car). We have to accept that we’re good at sustaining technologies, but hard to jump into disruptive if you’re great at the other. Broadway? Remember that we’re good, but that what makes us good is the thing that makes us get not good. Don’t expect same project margins or volume with disruptive technology. Get your disruptive tech people “off somewhere” so they can be on their own to become very excited about even small things that are only at the beginning. When you have a disruptive technology, go find a new audience. Overall, accept failure. Many great things were mistakes: chocolate chip cookie, Post-It Notes, Viagra. We don’t have the luxury of a generation to find what’s new. We must commit to tinkering and failure, because that generates research and progress. We must commit to encouraging.

Mosher talks about the change in neural patterns that allow him to multitask (on a computer), but overall we can’t engage deeply, with a book or (though he has the habit) in a play. New textbooks are multimedia. It’s useless to Google in order to truly understand evil, loyalty, friendship, or a broken heart. And that’s why we need Tony Kushner and a group of great artists to show us that.

“Broadway for 30 years overlapped with the work of the greatest artists. It may once again.” But Mosher doesn’t care. Serious work will play in smaller spaces because that will return us to the way it was for thousands of years.

5:20 PM

TedX Broadway has drawn to a close. What’s above may well be irrelevant once the videos from the day are posted for all to see, but in the meantime I do hope this provides some window into what went on at the event.

When you last saw Peter Marks and me, we were being thoughtful and playful on the stage of Arena’s Stage’s Kogod Cradle (you can watch here on New Play TV), as a result of the impromptu debates that sprang up between us over several months on Twitter. It was clear that there was an appetite for more conversation, and indeed some of our regular Twitter pals who attended the live event were frustrated that they couldn’t just interrupt us at will and, no doubt, might have preferred shorter answers. So Peter and I resolved to continue the conversation, but no longer by accident.  The following transcript is from the Twitter dialogue on December 7, our first since the November event at Arena. This conversation included more than two dozen active participants, as well as our invited “special guest” Robert Falls, artistic director of The Goodman Theater in Chicago, arelative newcomer to Twitter.

As before with these transcripts, they are reconstructed to the best of my ability, relying upon participants’ use of the #pmdhes hashtag for tracking. I have cleaned up some common Twitter abbreviations for ease of reading, but I was cautious about converting anything where I wasn’t absolutely sure about meaning; sticklers, as a result, will find some messages that exceed Twitter’s 140 character limit. Retweets of comments within the conversation have mostly been excised. Finally, the transcript is most expediently prepared in reverse chronological order, so you’re advised to jump to the end of this post and then scroll upward for proper continuity.

*   *   *

Chadbauman 3:42pm  Similarly, Rick Lester from @trgarts likes to say that prayer shouldn’t be a marketing strategy.

Danfrmbourque 3:41pm  @productionkat I know. They love to retweet you and send out press release stuff, but not much real interaction. Thus I follow few.

Chadbauman 3:40pm   A takeaway from the event was @petermarksdrama saying if your business model is based on good reviews, you’re in trouble.

Productionkat 3:38pm   @Danfrmbourque I have been suprized at how little theatre do tweet to promote or answer questions

Danfrmbourque 3:36pm  @Chadbauman curious as I’ve had theatres tweet at me days after I had mentioned them; a bit funny, like they are in a time warp!

Chadbauman 3:34pm  @Danfrmbourque We try our best to be continually staffed, but sometimes that is impossible.

Danfrmbourque 3:32pm  @Chadbauman Chad, how regularly is Arena twitter account “Staffed”? Some theatres seem to have accounts live a few hours at a time.

RSTStatusReport 3:32pm  @Dloehr And the Tony goes to ………”Bathroom Espionage Stories!”

Petermarksdrama 3:31pm  I love what @Klange has gleaned about reviews. And thanks to @Bankyhimself for the hashtag reminder! Can trample my lawn anytime.

Chadbauman 3:31pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201 @petermarksdrama great discussion today guys. Glad I could participate. Thanks for pulling it together!

HESherman 3:31pm   @rosalind1600  #pmdhes is PeterMarksDrama & HESherman, since this all started as online debates between us.

HESherman 3:30pm   @rststatusreport You’re as young as you tweet!

Dloehr 3:30pm   @RSTStatusReport @HESherman The phrase “bathroom espionage stories” alone was worth the price of admission.

HESherman 3:29pm   @Chadbauman And in some cases, during.

Chadbauman 3:29pm  @HESherman Much easier these days. They’ll tell us on Twitter what they think minutes after a performance.

HESherman 3:28pm   @petermarksdrama And the ones who retweet fans messages from people who just want to be retweeted by a celeb.

RSTStatusReport 3:28pm  @HESherman I bet there are some good bathroom espionage stories. DO TELL.

Dloehr 3:28pm   @RobertFalls201 That #blatantpromotion was with a wink, yes?

HESherman 3:27pm   I’m going to sign off. Feel free to keep talking and use #pmdhes, as I’ll create a transcript of all messages with it from this afternoon.

RobertFalls201 3:27pm  @HESherman This has been great & int, this new world. Tx 4 questions, comments, confusion. Go see #RED @arenastage #blatantpromotion

Klange 3:27pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201 @petermarksdrama Thanks to all of you!

RSTStatusReport 3:27pm  @Chadbauman The fact that I first read “SM” as Stage Manager and not Social Media might be a sign that I’m getting old.

Petermarksdrama 3:26pm  @HESherman I also dislike proselytizing celebs who hammer daily at the same political causes. Gotta turn down the volume

HESherman 3:26pm   @Chadbauman I remember when I had to send spies into the ladies restroom to listen to conversations to judge reactions. Old times.

SMLois 3:26pm   @HESherman @robertfalls201 @petermarksdrama thank you guys for engaging in the conversation.

Walt828 3:26pm   @asc_amy: @robertfalls201 Of course. Doesn’t alter the case: 55% of grant funding goes to top 2% of NPOs.

Dloehr 3:25pm   @HESherman @RobertFalls201 @petermarksdrama Let’s all do this again sometime. 😉

ASC_Amy 3:25pm   @HESherman Thanks for organizing it!

Edenlane 3:25pm   Usually my plan too… unless featuring an interview RT @HESherman: @smlois I discuss what I’m going 2 c, not my post-show opinion.

Jfdubiner 3:25pm  @Dloehr @ASC_Amy @LindaInPhoenix Me too – expansive opps for communicating dif ideas about same content to dif auds.

Productionkat 3:25pm   BRAVO! RT @ASC_Amy: @Walt828 @robertfalls201 We covered 96% of our expenses in October with earned income.

Chadbauman 3:25pm  @HESherman I can tell how a show is being received in part these days by SM responses in previews.

HESherman 3:25pm   I think we’re slowing down. B4 all fall away, thanks to all of you, and especially @RobertFalls201 for joining the fun.

ASC_Amy 3:25pm   @Walt828 @robertfalls201 But if there is one, there are very possibly more & it proves other models are possible.

Dloehr 3:25pm   @PirateQueenKate Indeed. I’m actually drafting a post about OccupyDowerApt.

Walt828 3:24pm   @asc_amy @robertfalls201 One outlier doesn’t undermine the argument.

Productionkat 3:24pm   I found it to b a great 1st connection then larger donation @Klange: @RobertFalls201 @productionkat @HESherman @GoodmanTheatre

PirateQueenKate 3:24pm  @Dloehr See my #WDW2011 epic story of Washer/Dryer installation. Danger. Drama. Heartbreak.

HESherman 3:24pm   @petermarksdrama Andy Borowitz, John Fugelsang and Albert Brooks are worth a follow.

Klange 3:23pm     @RobertFalls201 We are nothing if not trailblazers.

Dloehr 3:23pm   @Jfdubiner @ASC_Amy @LindaInPhoenix What really intrigues me is the idea of telling a story that spans all of those forms…

SMLois 3:23pm   @HESherman I try to mention most of what I attend before I see it, but if I love it I promote. I never publicly criticize.

HESherman 3:23pm   @Chadbauman Twitter is simply the tech amplification of word of mouth. A media for the masses (vs. mass media).

Walt828 3:23pm   True. Does it have to be 100%? RT @asc_amy @robertfalls201 I’m not going to repeat our earlier “discussion,” but that isn’t the case

Danfrmbourque 3:23pm  @SMLois @Klange If I see a show I usually mention it, every little bit helps. If I really hate something I’m not likely to though

Petermarksdrama 3:22pm  @HESherman To answer your question: I followed a lot of well known comedians etc. But a lot of them perform on here. Doesn’t do it for me

SMLois 3:22pm   @RobertFalls201 @Chadbauman I suppose it depends on the reviewer. From some a positive review is gold. Others just don’t matter.

ASC_Amy 3:22pm   @Walt828 @robertfalls201 We covered 96% of our expenses in October with earned income.

HESherman 3:22pm   @smlois I discuss what I’m going 2 c, not my post-show opinion. More interested in promoting theatre than critiquing it publicly.

Chadbauman 3:22pm  @RobertFalls201 @SMLois @Klange we’ve had shows get negative reviews and do quite well because of positive word of mouth.

Walt828 3:21pm   @robertfalls201 Seems like Baumol and Bowen gave a license.

ASC_Amy 3:21pm   @Walt828 @robertfalls201 I’m not going to repeat our earlier “discussion,” but that isn’t the case everywhere.

HESherman 3:21pm   @Klange There’s great similarity.

Walt828 3:20pm   @robertfalls201 Seems as if the nonprofit model is built on ever-increasing unearned income. Wasn’t always like that, says Ziegler.

Klange 3:20pm  @Chadbauman @SMLois right! Cuz, ideally, each aud member has a unique experience across a broad range of tastes. Like attracts like

Dloehr 3:20pm   @PirateQueenKate @LindaInPhoenix Different types of stories, to be sure, but a fun challenge nonetheless.

Dloehr 3:19pm   @PirateQueenKate @LindaInPhoenix It also allows for fun storytelling–I’ve done it with plays, I’m doing it with #celebbowling.

Klange 3:19pm  @SMLois oh, of course not. You act as a curator – not just a mindless booster.

HESherman 3:19pm   @lindainphoenix Yes! I can ramble on in my blog posts, and I do. Here it’s about focus and brevity. Headlines, essentially.

Jfdubiner 3:19pm  @ASC_Amy @LindaInPhoenix @Dloehr Interesting how forms is defining function as there are more forms – fb, tw, blog, tmblr etc.

Dloehr 3:19pm   @HESherman @robertfalls201 Ben has an account, and we joked about it in January. I’d love for him to join in.

JaysenElsky 3:19pm  @HESherman Well, I am a youngin, so it really is an exercise. But it came from a real conversation. and, I agree with your hope

Geohunka 3:19pm  @HESherman  But that’s true of any form of communication. Besides, similarly, you only hear what people want to tell you.

PirateQueenKate 3:18pm  @LindaInPhoenix @Dloehr brevity forces clarity. You can’t couch weak ideas in flowery language and obfuscate. short, sweet, simple.

Chadbauman 3:18pm  @SMLois @Klange Nothing replaces word of mouth. I’ll take positive word of mouth over neg reviews any day. Trick is to get both.

HESherman 3:18pm   @petermarksdrama Yet your corporate overlords would be so proud of you.

Klange 3:18pm  @HESherman @robertfalls201 Maybe that’s where #OWS got the idea for the “human microphone.” 😉

Productionkat 3:18pm   I look at everyone as potential funders too-

RobertFalls201 3:18pm  @Walt828 I hear you and understand. These are issues we’re all grappling with. Large or small, we all need funding.

Klange 3:17pm  @RobertFalls201 @productionkat @HESherman @GoodmanTheatre It’s mostly people we met here. Tighter #DCTheatre community sprung up

SMLois 3:17pm   @Klange but I’m not going to promote all 150+ shows I see each year.

Dloehr 3:17pm   @LindaInPhoenix Exactly. I’m just responding to the idea that these 140 char posts exist independent of any context.

LindaInPhoenix 3:16pm  Funny this hit my feed during convo on social media Answers to 31 Social Media Questions You’re Too Shy to Ask

ASC_Amy 3:16pm   @LindaInPhoenix @Dloehr Indeed, for more in-depth you can always spill into a blog post.

SMLois 3:16pm   @Klange agreed. When I love a show I’m thrilled to talk about it. And I’m picky, so my opinion has some weight locally.

HESherman 3:16pm   @robertfalls201 Maybe 600 followers, but message can be RT’d and amplified many times. You never know what captures attention.

LindaInPhoenix 3:15pm   @Dloehr Actually, I think the 140 character thing is

RobertFalls201 3:15pm  @HESherman Sure. Beats working.

HESherman 3:15pm   @geohunka Over time, its sort of remarkable, depending on how much you wish to say publicly.

Petermarksdrama 3:15pm  @HESherman I was shilling with a wink.

Petermarksdrama 3:14pm  @Walt828 I so agree. And you gotta listen to what people are saying.

HESherman 3:14pm   I’d promised @RobertFalls201 a 45 minute conversation. Please stay if you can Bob, but no one will think ill if u must bow out.

Klange 3:14pm  @SMLois @petermarksdrama @hesherman I think it’s incredibly important to support other work, too. Word of mouth for plays, etc.

Chadbauman 3:14pm  @RobertFalls201 We are putting much more effort into building our own communications infrastructure as well.

RobertFalls201 3:14pm  @Klange @productionkat @HESherman I find that so interesting. No funders that I’m aware of at any level following me @GoodmanTheatre

Walt828 3:14pm   @robertfalls201  A recent report shows a huge income gap between rich NPO’s and the rest: top 2% get 55% of grant income. Is this fair?

Dloehr 3:14pm   Enough with the 140 character thing. It’s the accumulation of conversation that reveals who we are, as with any other medium.

ASC_Amy 3:13pm   @geohunka You can reveal your point of view quite easily. Honesty in convo = transparency.

Playwrightsteve 3:13pm   @HESherman @Walt828 Control usually equals canned PR messages. But Twitter is best used as a dialogue. Much less control there.

Dloehr 3:13pm   @RobertFalls201 People can also follow you on Twitter lists without officially following you, so it may be more people than that.

NicolesNotes 3 :13pm  @Walt828 I agree. It’s quite likely that this is why so many companies remain ineffective. There should be format, but flexibility.

HESherman 3:13pm   @petermarksdrama Now you’re just shilling. Doesn’t become you.

Petermarksdrama 3:12pm  @ddower Critics are assumed to be this, that, other thing. But we’re really just like Soylent Green. Believe it or not, we’re PEOPLE.

HESherman 3:12pm   @Walt828 One can control their own message, but not the flow of communication.

Dloehr 3:12pm   @HESherman @petermarksdrama Beeber. (sic)

Klange 3:12pm  @productionkat @HESherman @robertfalls201 We reach a lot of small funders aka followers, but we’re tiny. Haven’t noticed big funders

ASC_Amy 3:12pm   @RobertFalls201 I think it has grown in the past hour.

Geohunka 3:12pm  How much can you meaningfully reveal in 140 chars? Camaraderie is not transparency

RobertFalls201 3:12pm  Not sure what 2 make of having a reg aud of 20K 2 communicate w as a dir but putting lots of energy into comm w/600. (or is it more)

Dloehr 3:12pm   @TheTicketMaven If it’s “usually promo 4 org,” I’d say it’s being done wrong. Without engagement, there’s little point in following.

HESherman 3:11pm   @petermarksdrama What celebs WERE you following? Do tell! Inquiring minds want to know!

SMLois 3:11pm   @petermarksdrama @hesherman I’ve also stopped following anyone who only pushes their own work and doesn’t converse.

Petermarksdrama 3:11pm  @HESherman Yup. Post remains smart, informative, sophisticated, utterly indispensable news source!

ASC_Amy 3:11pm   @TheTicketMaven Actually only about 30% of my time on Twitter is promo for my org.

Walt828 3:10pm   Seems to me that to participate in Twitter you have to be willing to reveal. If you want to control the message, it won’t work.

RobertFalls201 3:10pm  @petermarksdrama @HESherman @jenniferehle Depends on the celeb. I find it interesting to get to know them without PR protection shield.

HESherman 3:10pm   @danfrmbourque Yes, comments devoid of context can be tricky. Also sort of amazed by folks making off-color jokes here.

TheTicketMaven 3:10pm   So social media is two-fold…usually promo for org but growth for the employee participating.

Dloehr 3:10pm   @BankyHimself #tiggerbounce #snoopydancing

ASC_Amy 3:10pm   @RSTStatusReport @JaysenElsky @Dloehr Indeed. *digs in heels at Shakespeare theatre*

Dloehr 3:09pm   @JaysenElsky Probably not. There’s always room for verbosity, or for a Mametian scene of nothing but one to two words back & forth.

RSTStatusReport 3:09pm  @JaysenElsky @Dloehr Gosh, I hope not. I’d like to think there’s still a place in the world for flowery language.

HESherman 3:09pm   @jaysenelsky Seems like a formal exercise to me. But IMHO, fad, not future (I hope).

Petermarksdrama 3:09pm  @HESherman I’ve stopped following all celebs/famous actors (except @jenniferehle because she’s so charming) don’t learn anything

Danfrmbourque 3:08pm  Twitter can be intimidating because so little room for context, Always careful when replying to those I don’t know because of that

Ddower 3:08pm  @HESherman I’ve learned a lot from watching what you’re learning, @petermarksdrama. Bunches about what we assume critics know/feel.

Dloehr 3:08pm   @HESherman @morydd The real trick is focus. The     is well-focused because of time. The #2amt stream is more freeform & always on.

Productionkat 3:07pm   We have done twitter fundraisers! 🙂 RT @HESherman: @robertfalls201 Have you found any funders who are actually engaging on Twitter?

HESherman 3:07pm   @petermarksdrama U still have vast audience if using print. Unless u say something inflammatory online, @washingtonpost best soapbox

Petermarksdrama 3:07pm  @HESherman @robertfalls201 I’ve found it wildly useful for background, for trends, for shows+writers I didn’t know about

BankyHimself 3:07pm  As someone who’s hung with @Dloehr in person, I’ll attest to his real-life “bounciness.”

Dloehr 3:07pm   @ASC_Amy @morydd It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the stream. That’s why the #2amt site’s there, to distill or spark conversation.

JaysenElsky 3:07pm  @Dloehr On true intimacy in 140 characters. Funny. working on a one act with dialogue entirely in 1-2 words. The future?

RobertFalls201 3:06pm  @petermarksdrama Yes! (Point proven.)

HESherman 3:06pm   @morydd I’ve used the firehose analogy as well. And this sort of Twitter gang conversation can be even trickier.

BankyHimself 3:06pm  Do these great minds sit around all day and think about theatre? No, sometimes they’re on the couch watching Breaking Bad too.

MariselaTOrta 3:06pm  @JaysenElsky @HESherman @robertfalls201 Listening aka lurking is also 1st level of engagement. Participating will likely follow

Petermarksdrama 3:05pm  @SMLois I see.

BankyHimself 3:05pm  Getting 2 know the person-side @RobertFalls201 who’s work I’ve studied/d admired , has helped encourage me as a young artist.

HESherman 3:05pm   @robertfalls201 @petermarksdrama Yet Peter says he has new perceptions from Twitter. If participation adds value with critics…

Klange 3:05pm  @Dloehr @petermarksdrama I can attest to that.

Petermarksdrama 3:04pm  @RobertFalls201 I’ve been told by PR people who advise, don’t respond to a critic, cause they have last word! (Not true anymore!)

Michaeldove 3:04pm   @HESherman Opening up the process and sharing the experience is so key to Forum. Can’t think of it any other way-just feels natural

ASC_Amy 3:04pm   @morydd I sometimes have to take 15 minute “twitter breaks” from my regular work, with timer and everything.

SMLois 3:04pm   @petermarksdrama don’t want any revelations of behind the scenes activity or anything implying I’d work on days off

Dloehr 3:04pm   @petermarksdrama But in person, I’m very much the same as here–bouncy, usually ready with a joke, ready to engage.

HESherman 3:04pm   @asc_amy Focus groups can be misleading in many cases, but absolutely, the self-selection of SM holds perils

JaysenElsky 3:04pm  @HESherman @robertfalls201 I think people lurk because they are afraid they have nothing to add

Morydd 3:03pm  @HESherman I also find following the #2amt much like drinking from a firehose. Hard to stay on top of convo and get other work done.

Dloehr 3:03pm   @mlaffs Man’s a good hugger, what can I say?

HESherman 3:03pm   @robertfalls201 I RT’d stories re MOTHER WITH THE HAT in Hartford, but didn’t offer personal comment due to possible perception of conflict of interest

ASC_Amy 3:03pm   @LindaInPhoenix @HESherman *zing*

Dloehr 3:03pm   @petermarksdrama …explain why I’d be vanishing for a few days in October.

Mlaffs 3:02pm   @Dloehr that bromance with @travisbedard is legen- *and i hope you’re not lactose intolerant* -dairy

LindaInPhoenix 3:02pm   @HESherman Maybe when I teach arts management next year…

Dloehr 3:02pm   @petermarksdrama …there’s a lot I don’t share. I kept very quiet about my mother this fall, for instance, only blogging to…

RobertFalls201 3:02pm  @petermarksdrama @HESherman @HESherman MORE?? No. I have enough critics in my life!

Petermarksdrama 3:02pm  @SMLois @HESherman @michaeldove Lois, what is the distinction? Why some ask you to stop?

Dloehr 3:02pm   @petermarksdrama Indeed. And I’ll admit, there are certain aspects I highlight, others I downplay. As open & silly as I am here…

Petermarksdrama 3:01pm  @seanjbryan @HESherman Amazing statistic

HESherman 3:01pm   @lindainphoenix Gee, you didn’t call me! (harumph, unfollow button)  😉

ASC_Amy 3:01pm   @HESherman You have a very self-selected focus group on social media, have to be careful of drawing conclusions.

Petermarksdrama 3:01pm  @Dloehr It’s extraordinary how much you DO get the essence of the person on twitter. Also, we all start w/common habit

ASC_Amy 3:00pm   @TheTicketMaven Yes, only about 5% of my interaction is with our patrons.

RobertFalls201 3:00pm  @morydd @HESherman V true. I follow discussions re: MOTHER WITH THE HAT, tweeting in theaters, etc etc, but have nothing to say to jump in

RSTStatusReport 3:00pm  @playwrightsteve Exactly. Also good way to make connections. I’ve met several playwrights through Twitter conversations.

Seanjbryan 3:00pm   @HESherman @petermarksdrama 98% of the people I know in the US I met through an online platform of some kind

HESherman 3:00pm   @RobertFalls201 Are there things you would like to learn from people via social media, as opposed to audience surveys?

TheTicketMaven 3:00pm   Many want the convo to be with the patron and that isn’t always the case.

Petermarksdrama 3:00pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201 Bob, do you have a desire for more contact with critics??? Or is that secondary?

Mlaffs 2:59pm   @HESherman @ASC_Amy some folks are unable to think big and grasp implications of the nebulous internet

LindaInPhoenix 2:59pm   (it helped that social media was a topic)

Mlaffs 2:59pm   @HESherman @ASC_Amy @LindaInPhoenix i think case studies/ROI helps focus the convo to concrete benefit to org.

LindaInPhoenix 2:59pm   Half our speakers series this year was built on connections made initially via twitter

Michaeldove 2:59pm   @MariselaTOrta @hesherman And did you get any pushback on that?

HESherman 2:58pm   @morydd Didn’t mean to suggest all lurkers are reticent. You point is well taken. See, danger of very brief statements!

ASC_Amy 2:58pm   @playwrightsteve the @pewresearch folks have found the same thing in their studies.

Mlaffs 2:58pm   @HESherman @ASC_Amy good points, but convincing technophobes brings up the question of Return on Investment. I use case studies & consumer data

Petermarksdrama 2:58pm  @Dloehr @Klange @ASC_Amy I don’t pretend that we’re 1 big happy fam. But hearing voices as passionate about theatre as mine helps in job

Dloehr 2:58pm   @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama Like with us, for example. 🙂

Playwrightsteve 2:58pm   Doesn’t decrease human interaction. Social media helps me keep contact w/ people with whom I otherwise would have NO contact

PirateQueenKate 2:58pm  @playwrightsteve & @ASC_Amy JINX!!! cc: @petermarksdrama @Dloehr

Dloehr 2:58pm   @petermarksdrama But meeting in person? All the awkward getting-to-know-you-ness drops away. Never ceases to amaze me.

HESherman 2:58pm   I have made more new real-world friends via social media of late than through just “meeting” people. Just had lunch with @nestruck.

GwydionS 2:58pm   @asc_amy @Dloehr I would never have met either of you without Twitter.

Ddower 2:57pm  MT @HESherman Yes. Our communication department @arenastage created it. But atop that you also have the Institute, with different rules of engagement.

SMLois 2:57pm   @HESherman @michaeldove I’ve had companies ask me to stop tweeting about our work while others pay me extra to run their account

MariselaTOrta 2:57pm  @HESherman @michaeldove “no social media” in artist contract–I blog my writing process. That wldn’t work for me

Dloehr 2:57pm   @petermarksdrama Amen. I’ve never seen it as a replacement for human interaction, which is the other criticism I’ve heard.

ASC_Amy 2:57pm   @HESherman @mlaffs an interesting blog re: the ROI of Social Media

PirateQueenKate 2:57pm  @Dloehr @Klange @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama Lunch = Oyamel #NOMS

Playwrightsteve 2:57pm   @ASC_Amy Okay. So, we shared a brain just then.

Ddower 2:57pm  Interesting discussion at #pmdhes re: critics, artists, and Twitter. Join in now, or read and respond later.

Playwrightsteve 2:56pm   @petermarksdrama @Dloehr And Twitter leads to opportunities for 1-on-1 face time that would not have occurred otherwise

ASC_Amy 2:56pm   @petermarksdrama @Dloehr Twitter has actually increased my one-to-one face time with folks I wouldn’t otherwise have met.

HESherman 2:56pm   @mlaffs Is ROI the be all and end all? Isn’t a great deal of the benefit qualitative, not quantitative?

Morydd 2:56pm  @HESherman Not all lurkers are afraid of the interaction. I don’t join into every conversation I listen to in real life either.

Petermarksdrama 2:56pm  @Dloehr agreed–it’s not perfect, and not really a sub for one-to-one face time. But ppl who poopoo it usually don’t try to do it

HESherman 2:55pm   @Chadbauman Have @arenastage social media policies had to evolve as mass acceptance of form has grown so rapidly?

Jfdubiner 2:55pm  @HESherman That’s a hard pill for an old #dramaturg to swallow…

Dloehr 2:55pm   @petermarksdrama @Klange @ASC_Amy My wife was dubious until she saw how much fun I was having with @travisbedard & his ilk.

Michaeldove 2:55pm   @HESherman No mentioning of the show, that is, good or bad.

SMLois 2:55pm   @Dloehr @petermarksdrama which is why it has to be a conversation.

RobertFalls201 2:55pm  Yes. I think there is a danger of too much Twitter. Distracts f/the silence I need as an artist vs. noise I require as a producer

HESherman 2:54pm   @michaeldove ‘No social media’ in artist contracts sounds like a 1st amendment violation to me. Likely unenforceable.

Dloehr 2:54pm   @Klange @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama What’d y’all have for lunch? (ducks from the brickbats)

Chadbauman 2:54pm  @HESherman @ddower Arena adopted social media guidelines in 2009.

Mlaffs 2:54pm   @Dloehr @petermarksdrama also arts orgs are overworked – they see it as *another* time-suck/commitment/resource-stretcher

Klange 2:54pm  @petermarksdrama @ASC_Amy Lol. It does take time, but the convo here has definitely led to increased collaboration in #dcTheatre

Petermarksdrama 2:54pm  @RobertFalls201 It’s easier transaction with you Bob because I admire your work. But as you said in an early tweet, you’re a “big boy” – I think so am I

Playwrightsteve 2:54pm   @Dloehr @petermarksdrama What is the character threshold on “true intimacy” anyway?

Dloehr 2:54pm   @petermarksdrama And my answer is, it’s not possible in a single face-to-face sentence, either.

HESherman 2:53pm   I remain amazed I’m so fluent on twitter. As I often joke, in person I have trouble says ‘hello’ in 140 characters.

Dloehr 2:53pm   @petermarksdrama I’ve gotten the “true intimacy isn’t possible in 140 chars” line before from people who don’t like twitter.

Mlaffs 2:53pm   @ASC_Amy @SMLois @petermarksdrama i’ve made a point of speaking 2 ROI & strategy to help people understand how it can be a benefit

ASC_Amy 2:53pm   @michaeldove I posted them on my blog (pls ignore the time lapse since my last post)

HESherman 2:53pm   @Jfdubiner Accepting that bad grammar & punctuation is OK, boiling thoughts down to briefest essence is new way to think

LindaInPhoenix 2:53pm   thought it would be a great way to interact w/ students, but only a handful follow.

Danfrmbourque 2:52pm  Twitter really breaks down walls between artists and critics. Casual, deceptively simple it encourages small talk and then bigger

Petermarksdrama 2:52pm  @Klange @ASC_Amy My wife says “You’re twittering your life away.” Makes me feel guilty!

SMLois 2:52pm   @petermarksdrama @asc_amy and the meaty discussion tends to come from the same small percentage of users

Dloehr 2:52pm   @petermarksdrama I think people are afraid also because they don’t realize how much like regular conversation it is.

HESherman 2:52pm   @ddower Is there a social media policy in place @arenastage regarding content? Who created it?

Jfdubiner 2:52pm  @RSTStatusReport @petermarksdrama Is that still true? Or is it hard to bend old ideas of community engagement to new definition of comm?

Ddower 2:52pm  One of fastest changes underway in this sector is the move from controlled messaging/access to transparency. Twitter works there.

Petermarksdrama 2:52pm  @RSTStatusReport I think that’s very true

RobertFalls201 2:52pm  @petermarksdrama Interesting. Some critics want NO contact with people they’re reviewing; does having this contact compromise or assist?

HESherman 2:51pm   @theticketmaven But that’s fine. You’re interested. Maybe you’ll join in, if not today, another time.

Michaeldove  2:51pm   @ASC_Amy @ddower @robertfalls201 @hesherman @shakespearectr What kind of guidelines, if you can share?

Klange 2:51pm  @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama Many view it as trifling chats on reality TV/sports/whatever. I know it to be a place for real connection

Petermarksdrama 2:51pm  @ASC_Amy @SMLois It is a time-suck, no doubt. + I find the meaty discussion crowds out the promotion, so u have to wanna TALK

Dloehr 2:51pm   @Jfdubiner @petermarksdrama It’s almost like a haiku.

HESherman 2:51pm   @robertfalls201 Absolutely people lurk, but term is pejorative. Many not bold enough to engage with strong personalities at times.

TheTicketMaven 2:50pm   @RobertFalls201 I’m lurking right now

ASC_Amy 2:50pm   @ddower @RobertFalls201 @HESherman Indeed. It took official social media guidelines to get everyone at @shakespearectr comfortable.

RSTStatusReport 2:50pm  @petermarksdrama Maybe some folks feel more comfortable in a bubble? Engagement with larger community could shatter preconceptions.

HESherman 2:50pm   @robertfalls201 I refer to social media as the earliest days of radio or TV. Still so new. Constantly evolving.

Ddower 2:50pm  @RobertFalls201 @HESherman And it takes courage for an institution to allow the individual voice. So staffers, like me, walk a line.

Jfdubiner 2:49pm  @petermarksdrama As someone new to twittering, the form itself is hard. Like being a transfer student in a foreign language.

Dloehr 2:49pm   @petermarksdrama This is after taking me to the airport, asking, “Why are you going to DC? Arena Stage invited you to what? Why?”

HESherman 2:49pm   @petermarksdrama Yet its a subset of theatre folks who a) are on social media and b) who you choose to “hear.” Not general public.

Dloehr 2:49pm   @petermarksdrama Took two years and the wave of 2amt to get my AD on here, since he realized he should see what I was doing.

RobertFalls201 2:49pm  @petermarksdrama I have more than 600 followers BUT only interact w/5%. Think most people are “lurkers” and afraid 2 participate.

SMLois 2:48pm   @petermarksdrama many companies I work with see twitter as waste of time with no clear Return on Investment

ASC_Amy 2:48pm   @petermarksdrama Everyone I talk to fear the possible time suck, don’t understand the possibilities.

Petermarksdrama 2:48pm  @RobertFalls201 Your passion comes thru. Our engagement is esp interesting, Bob, ’cause I’m going 2 see your work in DC soon.

Edenlane 2:48pm   @HESherman Funders / Underwriters are asking about all of our social media presence to measure the reach of their support

RobertFalls201 2:48pm  @HESherman It all feels a bit like the Wild West. Uncharted.

HESherman 2:48pm   @brookem1109 Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. Priorities, young lady, priorities. But I guess getting @petermarksdrama good seat is vital.

Petermarksdrama 2:47pm  My question is, what limits Twitter in many theatre people’s minds? Why aren’t they flooding the platform?

Klange 2:47pm  @petermarksdrama @ASC_Amy @PirateQueenKate Thank you! I can only strive to get better & take what I can from each piece of feedback

HESherman 2:47pm   @lindainphoenix So many people assume retweets or “curated” content is something you agree with; don’t get it may b just for convo

ASC_Amy 2:47pm   @HESherman I’ve seen funders in other nonprofit areas mostly. Although a couple arts funders out of Chicago.

RobertFalls201 2:46pm  In my profile, I say I’m intensely political & have no fear of exposing opinions. Want to opine re: arts, politics, pop culture…

HESherman 2:46pm   @robertfalls201 Have you found any funders who are actually engaging on Twitter? Maybe that’s the next piece of the puzzle.

Petermarksdrama 2:46pm  @Klange @ASC_Amy @PirateQueenKate Karen, Your responses to the post review on here were smart, not emotional.

ASC_Amy 2:46pm   @HESherman @moorejohn I first really engaged with Twitter during my two months of unemployment. Huge to have a community.

BrookeM1109 2:45pm  Want to follow convo but must finish press night seating #Tessitorture #Procrastination

Dloehr 2:45pm   @RobertFalls201 @HESherman In the past, I’ve compared it to a global MST3K experience and/or a virtual Algonquin Round Table.

HESherman 2:45pm   @moorejohn As someone who’s consulting and doesn’t have regular daily gig, Twitter keeps me engaged with theatre community

PirateQueenKate 2:45pm  @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama Yes, the theater wasn’t willing to admit shows were weak, easier to ban reviews from green room.

Petermarksdrama 2:44pm  @Jfdubiner @moorejohn for me, absolutely. I have far more context about what audiences and theater folks are interested in

Dloehr 2:44pm   @HESherman Indeed. Hopefully we can act as a gateway for them. (I’ll happily recreate Bob & Ray routines at the drop of a hat.)

HESherman 2:44pm   @robertfalls201 At the same time, I feel like I’m playing to an audience at times, with hashtag games and blog promos

ASC_Amy 2:44pm   @Klange Indeed. Have faith in your vision and acknowledge there are different tastes/perspectives.

RobertFalls201 2:43pm  @HESherman I agree & have come 2 learn that. Always a line 2 walk b/c institution = critics, funders, auds.

Rosalind1600 2:43pm  @Jfdubiner @HESherman @petermarksdrama But agree with Peter Marks on no politics. Plenty of other venues for that — like work.

HESherman 2:43pm   @robertfalls201 To me, it’s like having a whole bunch of pen pals all at once, with instantaneous response

Klange 2:43pm  @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama @PirateQueenKate Or see one bad review as a referendum on your project/worth. One has to get past that

Rosalind1600 2:43pm  @Jfdubiner @HESherman @petermarksdrama I don’t mind talking only about theater. But other arts/culture interesting to discuss too.

LindaInPhoenix 2:43pm   @ASC_Amy @petermarksdrama I’m in a similar boat re political comments, but am comfortable posting political content w/o comment

HESherman 2:42pm   @Dloehr Yet we talk about Tom Lehrer and Bob & Ray, and probably lots of our followers have no frame of reference

HESherman 2:42pm   @petermarksdrama Save for weighing in on current #GOPmuppethearings, I am apolitical on social media, except for arts policy

Jfdubiner 2:42pm  @moorejohn @petermarksdrama Has getting to know audience/artists changed the way you write about the work?

ASC_Amy 2:42pm   @petermarksdrama @PirateQueenKate I see it happen when folks don’t take control of their own destinies and blame others for failures

Moorejohn 2:42pm  @HESherman Honestly it’s so raw, I haven’t wrapped my head around that it’s over. I took the buyout and had to be gone in 24 hours

SMLois 2:41pm   @petermarksdrama @hesherman @robertfalls201don I know some critics who feel it is a conflict of interests to get to know artists.

RobertFalls201 2:41pm  @HESherman @petermarksdrama One does form common community w Twitter…find people around you with shared interests include info AND entertainment value

Petermarksdrama 2:40pm  @PirateQueenKate Fascinating to hear theaters “demonize” critics. What the heck is that about?

Edenlane 2:40pm   @moorejohn True for our broadcast too… & the back channel can drive our content at times

Moorejohn 2:40pm  @HESherman I was seen as just a guy, not some cliched monster. People felt comfortable approaching me in theaters, and I welcomed it

ASC_Amy 2:40pm   @petermarksdrama I’m the same way. I’ll comment about a lot, but not politics or religion.

HESherman 2:39pm   @moorejohn So what’s your feeling about continuing now that you’re leaving the paper? Do you still want this presence?

Jfdubiner 2:39pm  @HESherman @petermarksdrama I want to hear about other interests/concerns/opinions. Talking only about theater gets boring.

Petermarksdrama 2:39pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201don’t feel comfortable, e.g., commenting on political issues the way theatre people do on here. Journalist in me

Dloehr 2:39pm   @HESherman @petermarksdrama @RobertFalls201 …such as a common love of Tom Lehrer or Bob & Ray, for instance.

Michaeldove 2:39pm   RT @SMLois:     I think candid but careful might be the twitter motto for working professionals

RobertFalls201 2:39pm  @petermarksdrama Correct. Tricky to be both leader of an institution and individual artist. But that’s always an issue for me.

HESherman 2:38pm   @smlois Sort of the artistic Twitter version of “Trust, but verify”? 😉

Dloehr 2:38pm   @HESherman @petermarksdrama @RobertFalls201 What’s fascinating to me is finding those common interests beyond theatre…

Moorejohn 2:38pm  @HESherman Plus, social media connected me with new readers who didn’t buy my paper and never would’ve found me. Total game-changer

RobertFalls201 2:38pm  @HESherman @TheWing I too was urged by PR/Devo 2 blog about #RED. Found interesting to some but don’t want to just promote, want more

PirateQueenKate 2:38pm  Before Twitter, theaters could “demonize” a critic because the review was their only voice, now it can be contextualized more & discussed

HESherman 2:38pm   @petermarksdrama That’s an interesting point. We may start here given common interest in theatre, but how far beyond should we go?

Edenlane 2:37pm   GR8 rule of thumb RT @SMLois: I think candid but careful might be the twitter motto for working professionals

HESherman 2:36pm   @moorejohn How did social media change your image John? (and please hashtag all messages     to be sure they’re seen)

Petermarksdrama 2:36pm  @RobertFalls201 To me, Bob, it seems to have allowed you to open up on a variety of topics, not just theater…

SMLois 2:36pm    I think candid but careful might be the twitter motto for working professional

Klange 2:36pm  @PirateQueenKate @petermarksdrama Agreed. I’m no longer terrified of critics. I’ll take my lumps, but love the conversation

HESherman 2:36pm   RT @moorejohn: I was pretty much a presumed stereotype till people got to know me on social media.

HESherman 2:35pm   I first got involved in Tweeting and blogging at insistent urging of @TheWing’s Dir. of Web Development

Dloehr 2:35pm   @GwydionS Is it supposed to be different?

HESherman 2:35pm   @robertfalls201 Are you on Twitter at staff’s urging, personal interest, or what motivated you?

PirateQueenKate 2:34pm  I feel that @petermarksdrama is more accessible & now more someone I’d like to meet in person thanks to his tweets, not so before

Edenlane 2:33pm   great connection tool

RobertFalls201 2:33pm  Yes, got in trouble 1st wk (Should’ve used DM; in supporting colleagues, alienated others) Have had to learn 2 B candid but careful

HESherman 2:33pm   @petermarksdrama Same question does for you – are you engaging with people you didn’t know or didn’t expect (besides me)?

HESherman 2:32pm   @robertfalls201 So are you meeting new folks or connection with people you already knew professionally?

MariselaTOrta 2:32pm  @RobertFalls201 Who then do you find yourself talking to?

GwydionS 2:31pm   The fifth question: why is this Twitter chat different than all other Twitter chats? (Had to ask.)

Klange 2:31pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201 @petermarksdrama I’m following!

RobertFalls201 2:30pm  I don’t think so. Originally thought I’d be talking with subs and @GoodmanTheatre #followers, but turns out that’s not the case…

HESherman 2:30pm   B4, people had to write or e-mail you, or maybe spot you in lobby, @petermarksdrama & @RobertFalls201. Now you’re avail nationally

Dloehr 2:30pm   @michaeldove @SMLois @hesherman @petermarksdrama @robertfalls201 Having survived #celebbowling for another day, I’m here.

Michaeldove 2:29pm   @SMLois @hesherman @petermarksdrama @robertfalls201 HERE, as well~

HESherman 2:29pm   @mariselatorta Wherever the conversation takes us. Starting with AD’s and critics being more accessible to audience, public.

RobertFalls201 2:28pm  I’m here. Bells on. Ready to make history.

SMLois 2:28pm   @HESherman @petermarksdrama @robertfalls201 following along here

HESherman 2:28pm   I’ll toss this out for both @petermarkdrama & @RobertFalls201: has using social media made you more accessible to general audience?

MariselaTOrta 2:27pm  @HESherman What’s the topic you three will be discussing?

Petermarksdrama 2:27pm  @HESherman @RobertFalls201 (raises hand) Present!

HESherman 2:26pm   @petermarksdrama @RobertFalls201 Anyone home? Ready to chat?

A blog post from the magazine Chatelaine, a publication/site heretofore unknown to me, has set Twitter abuzz with the assertion that a recent study (albeit highly unscientific) shows that people are happiest when having sex, exercising and going to the theatre.

The immediate impulse to cheer for the home team (theatre, of course; get out of the gutter and the gym) rapidly gives way to amusement about the company we keep in this investigation, and creative minds are no doubt at work pondering how to unite these diverse interests into a single happiness-generating activity to supersede all others.  It has already been suggested by others that chocolate might be added to the mix. Needless to say, I would be happy to tackle the research and development on this challenging artistic and social issue (if you know what I mean).

But I foresee a significant problem already, based on a business which has previously tried to merge several of life’s basic pleasures.

Once, perhaps 20 years ago, I dined at a Connecticut outpost of the Hooters restaurant chain, which has successfully combined pulchritude and food to the delight of many and the ire of probably just as many more. Without going into detail, I can attest to the fact that the chain’s signature attractions were in ample supply – but that the food was rather dire, and the accompanying sightseeing did not make up for it. Indeed, I have never again crossed the threshold of any of said establishments, for fear that I would develop a Pavlovian response that correlated attractive women with stomach-churning revulsion.

So even if we manage to address the not insignificant challenges of melding the top three pleasure-givers, as first identified by the respected sociological journal Marie Claire and popularized by Chateleine, I worry that we might well give rise to an entirely new set of psychosexual responses that would be our undoing. Imagine if a particularly successful coupling of sex and exercise took place, say, at a performance of a play the not-entirely-inappropriate Strindberg? The fear of a rise in Strindberg fetishists should be enough to give anyone pause (except, of course, psychanalysts, who would be jumping on their couches for joy). What if this multifaceted entertainment took on, say, O’Neill’s Strange Interlude? As the TV commercials warn us, after four hours, you should call your doctor, and that would result in a series of concurrent and perhaps amusing calls to EMTs for exhaustion and muscle cramps. Even if the theatre of choice were comedy, imagine the dysfunctions that would arise if one required activity at the farcical level of Noises Off to achieve fulfillment.

I will be setting up a think-tank/laboratory to explore this in greater detail, since success in combining these elements would surely sustain the fabulous invalid ad infinitum. But if science fiction has taught us nothing else, perhaps some elements of nature are best left untampered with, and maybe we’ll just have to stick with putting on great shows. Dammit.